Here’s the video for you (Or go to the actual youtube page):

Please share this link to people. Many thanks.
Here’s the link for your convenience:
http://www.krisadams.co.za/awesome/videos/villain-subconscious-greeting/
or
http://bit.ly/eR6ysK

Merry Christmas dudes and dudets.

“It is a celebration. So celebrate. But remember that the reason we are celebrating is cos of Jesus. Sweet.” – Me

Dear Coca Cola, you douche.

Besides for Carbonated Water – Which is kinda important for making fizzy drinks – the main ingredient in my Coke Light is CARAMEL. Now, I know the chemical compound is different to sugar. but in essence, the body sees it as the same thing. Caramel IS sugar. So your “fib” claiming that there is no sugar, is, for lack of a better word, utter Pepsi!

So what you have done here, Coca Cola, is lied. You have lied to me, you have lied to your other customers, and quite frankly, you have lied to yourself.

Shame, Coca Cola. Shame.

I am willing to fogive you. If you give me something. Perhaps a giant Coca Cola robot. I love robots. Or an ipod, because I don’t have one. But preferably a robot.

And furthermore, what is the deal with Coke Zero. It tastes delicious. You must be using some kind of voodoo witchcraft to make that one work.

Kind Regards,
Kris Adams

Version 1 and
Version 2 are things of the past

Here is thecompleted effort.
MP3 to follow. Grab the MP3 HERE.

Israeli airline officals were quoted, recently, saying there was no way anyone could send explosive parcels through their airports. (Pause). Challenge accepted. Do you think the shipping cost is calculated on weight or explosive power? Maybe I should google it.

You know, I love Google. I found a story, last week, claiming that a time traveler was caught on tape in one of Charlie Chaplin’s films, apparently talking on her cellphone. Now, I’m no expert in time travel, but how did she manage to get reception back in 1924? I battle to get Cell C reception while touching the tower. I literally have to BECOME part of the electric circuit just to get one bar.

We try incorpirate incorporate the internet into our regular lives now.. I heard someone say LOL the other day. It made me want to TAG them, just so that others know to avoid him. It WOULD be nice to HASH something clever you’ve said though. But twitter is really restricted. To computers..

This is 3 and a half minutes long, read at a regular pace. There is a lot of cutting that needs to be done.

Intro:

when I heard this thing only had to be one minute long, i was like fantastic. I have plenty of practice doing things that last one minute. I am perfect for this.
Although, to be honest I am not a standup comedian. But I figure, I am already standing, so if I can do half of the job, why not fake my way through the COMEDY part? (19 seconds)

First Bit (Transport type theme):

With all our advances in Transport, sometimes it still feels like we’re going backwards… I heard police took 50 taxis off the road the other day at Kayalami. Granted, we want the roads to be safer. But did they consider the 354 people that are now left STRANDED, without any transport? (19 seconds)

Israeli airline officals were quoted, recently, saying that Terrorists would not be able to send explosive parcels through their airports. Now, my first thought was, Challenge accepted. But then I read the fineprint, only applicable to bombs sent by terrorists. Does this mean that Terrorists were allowed to send bombs before this? Was the shipping cost calculated on weight or explosive power? (23 seconds)

And now, governments world wide are reviewing their security, after US-bound parcel bombs were intercepted in Dubai and Britain. I am guessing this is going to be a rather expensive project. You’d think the Jews in the Israeli Airports would have noticed the money-making opportunity and offered their services. (14 seconds)

Bit 2 (Money and stuffs)

The world is obsessed with money, hey?
Standard Bank recently laid off 1500 employees. And you thought it was difficult getting some help in the bank before. Oh my word. You’re gonna be standing there for hours now, just to get a statement. I guess these employees are going to have to put their efforts into getting that LOTTO thing down. (16 seconds)

I have always wanted to win the lotto, but I don’t ever buy a ticket. Although, statistically speaking, the chance of winning is so low, that there is roughly the same chance of me winning as someone that actually does buy a ticket. (13 seconds)

Another option is to become famous. Celebrities can do what they like, and they get A LOT of money.
Did you hear Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce? Only days after his family trip where he was hospitalized after trashing a hotel room. He was found lying drunk and naked in the room, along with a naked porn star, who was locked in the bathroom.
So, Charlie filed for divorce, then? Not his wife? I guess he just wasn’t happy with her behaviour. Makes you think, what was SHE doing that disgusted HIM so much that he had to file for divorce? (28 seconds)

Have you heard, the big concert, Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer and Turbo B is coming to SA in December. I managed to get a sneak preview of the set list for this history making evening. 1. Ice Ice Baby. 2. You cant touch this. 3. Rhythm is a dancer. And that’s it. Seems like they covered all of the hits there. (18 seconds)

Don’t you hate when you get a song stuck in your head, like, “Coz the bad-boys are always catching my eye”. And then you can’t get it out. And you end up singing it out loud. Then having to try explain. Which is hard to do, when I decided to wear my pink pullover today. (20 seconds)

Bit 3 (Internet type stuffs):

Although, everything nowadays is moving to the digital world..
The internet is alight with speculation that a time traveller was caught on tape in Charlie Chaplin’s film from 1924. Now, I’m no expert on time travel, but how did she manage to get reception in 1924. I battle to get Cell C reception while touching the tower. I have to BECOME part of the electric circuit just to get ONE bar. (22 seconds)

And this internet generation is slowly infecting us. You notice subtle times, where people, for instance, say LOL out loud. Or have you ever wanted to TAG someone in a face-to-face conversation? Doesn’t work so well. Or Hash’ed something you said, only to realize that twitter only works on PC’s?
Or you’ve really wanted to LIKE something, but ended up just looking like an idiot with your thumbs up. FML (24 seconds)

Your brain overrides what you are hearing. The guy says “BAH BAH BAH” the whole time. But if they show images where you see him doing the “F” mouth movement (ie: “FAR FAR FAR”) then your brain sides with the visual, and you hear the “FAR FAR FAR” sound. Stupid brain.
It’s called the McGurk Effect.

Again, here is the URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypd5txtGdGw

Here is some additional information if you are interested:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McGurk_effect

Amazing. But frustrating.

So there is this “competition” thing, where you need to send in a 1 minute stand-up routine. The person with the best one will then open for Darren Simpson in his upcoming stand-up performance at Gold Reef City.

I decided to have a little fun and put something together. Now, remember, I am not a comedian. So it’s not regular polished. It would be cool if you had a look and gave me some ideas and thoughts. It has to be 1 minute long. So I will take the funniest parts for the final product.

K, here it is. To make it easier, I have broken it down into numbers. So you can reference the sections by numbers. Just tell me what you think should go, stay, be added to, shortened, etc

View the clip

Oh, are you still reading. That means you didn’t enjoy the video then, I hate you. Or perhaps you DID enjoy it and are just soaking in as much of it as you can. In that case, I lov… Whoa.. Calm down there buddy. We’re just friends. I sorta like you?

View the clip

And again. I didn’t make this.

What’s in it for you? I’m glad you asked. You can win the first ever TEN Seconds of Fame video. It’s coveted. And you get to win. How awesome is that?! The video will be totally dedicated to you. And it will mostly be good stuff (I have to try make it a little funny. Your life is boring).

All you need to do is follow the competition rules (naturally).
Become a fan of www.krisadams.co.za (if you aren’t already. Seriously? I’m hurt)

Something creative will give you a better chance of winning. Get as many friends as you can to LIKE your status. Get bonus points for friends who have a status including YOUR NAME + www.krisadams.co.za .

And that’s it. Told you it was gonna be easy!

Competition will run until * ****** ****. The winner will be announced on the *** ***** ****.
Good luck. Not that you need it, right?

PS: If you aren’t too bright.. When you are typing in a status (on FB for the computer) just type the @ and you will see a little box come up, then when you start typing www.krisadams.co.za you will get a hint of the group (As long as you are a fan). Select that. Sweet.